I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:

1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear.  ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me?  So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”

2) Women not having cheat codes.  ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me.  I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me.  Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”

3) Women not being a hive mind.  ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles.  Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all.  Make up your mind, women!”

4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”

Always reblog













today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”


this post had me in tears

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”

Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

I want to start with some words that always makes me feel good

im reader

We, the fantasy readers.

by Jacqueline Carey

Long before I was a successful fantasy writer, I was a faithful reader. With the recent release of HBO’s “Game of Thrones,” a spate of reviews made it obvious that there remain pervasive dismissive attitudes not only toward the entire fantasy genre, but to those who love it. As in any genre, there’s a wide range of quality out there. I’m content to let my work and the work of my fellow authors speak for itself, but I’d like to speak on behalf of the readers, because I am one.

Critics, I’d like you to know that we’re not the monolithic group of stunted adolescents you think we are. I polled my own fans on Facebook, asking “Why do you read fantasy?” I think the array of eloquent, heartfelt responses might surprise you, and I offer the following synthesis, Breakfast Club-style.

“We read fantasy because we crave wonder, a longing no one should ever lose. We read because it is life writ large on a vast canvas, and the timeless arc of the hero’s journey resonates for us. We read for the richly drawn characters and their complex and dynamic relationships. Yes, really. We read because we yearn for adventure, for tales with themes of adversity, honor, duty, loyalty, valor, sacrifice and redemption on an unabashedly grandiose scale. We read for the poignant ache of tragedy when a beloved character perishes, and the trumpeting glory of a hard-fought victory.

In a world that doesn’t always make sense, we read fantasy for the profound catharsis of an epic plot resolved at long last. And sometimes, we read because these stories give us hope and the strength and courage to face obstacles in our own lives. Sometimes, they’re our gateway to proud self-reclamation.

We read because fantasy, unshackled from the constraints of reality, is free to explore the depth and breadth of the human condition; to tackle ethical quandaries from unexpected directions; to ask philosophical questions couched in the form of entertainment; to use allegory to hold up a mirror and make us look at ourselves anew. We read to visit worlds that aren’t, but show us the shape of a world that could be.

We read to catch a glimpse into someone else’s unfettered imagination, marveling in awe at the scope and detail of their creation; we read to spark our own imaginations as our minds transmute words on a page into visions of dragons and unicorns and castles floating in the sky, things we have never seen nor ever shall.

And yes, sometimes we read to escape. We read to escape from childhood trauma, from abuse, from physical pain, from ordinary doldrums, from grief, from the anguish of divorce, from the creeping despair of enduring joblessness, from crippling depression, from the torment of sleepless nights spent in a hospital with a critically ill child.

We read because fantasy offers a beacon of hope in an increasingly cynical and materialistic world, an unapologetic celebration of the abiding power of storytelling and the triumph of good over evil.

We are not just boys. We are girls, too. Shy girls and sexy girls, funny girls and moody girls. We are men and women. We come in every shape, size, color and creed, and we live all over the planet. We’re gay and straight, bisexual and transgendered. We’re your sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas. We’re teachers, doctors and real estate agents; soldiers, plumbers and bakers; students, housewives and lawyers; bankers, dog-walkers and cosmetologists; computer programmers, farmers and artists; scientists, marketers and massage therapists; nurses, librarians and truck drivers.

We just wanted you to know.”